A Gentleman's Guide
by remuslupin31060
Summary: River walks into the TARDIS library one day, where the Doctor has been for hours, and finds him absorbed by a special book-a book he won't tell her about. When he hides the book and offers to make dinner, doing it right, she knows something is up. She has to see what he's reading.
1. Chapter 1

** A/N: I know I haven't written in forever, sorry! Nothing ever came to mind, until now...**

When she walked in, he was sitting precariously on a chair in the Tardis library. He didn't notice her enter the room and continued reading, his attention fully devoted on the book. He'd been reading for hours; it must have been quite a good book if it kept his undistracted attention for this long, especially with River around. She stood inside the doorway for a few moments, and then proceeded to walk behind him, still unnoticed, near the uncountable rows of bookshelves. When she was standing directly behind her husband, she leaned her head right next to his and said, fairly loudly, "What are you reading?"

He jumped, as she had expected, and hastily shoved the book between his back and the back of the chair. "Oh! River! I, uh… I hadn't expected you to be back so early… I thought you…um… were still…out," The Doctor said nervously.

"I got back four hours ago."

"Is it that late already? Wow… Well, okay, then." His attempt at being nonchalant had failed miserably, much to his ignorance.

"What were you reading?"

"Oh, nothing. Just a good story. One of the new ones, I know you don't like those."

"Well, I'm sure I could give it a second try," she said, giving no intimation that she knew he was up to something.

"No!" It was said a bit too quickly. "Uh, no… No, it's boring. You would find it boring."

"Well, okay." She dropped the subject so he wouldn't become suspicious of her. "Let's have dinner."

The Doctor jumped up from his chair after shoving his book between the cushions. "I'll make dinner tonight!"

"Are you sure?" River wasn't sure if he knew _how_ to make a proper meal.

"Of course, it'll be fun. You go relax; I know what I'm doing."


	2. Chapter 2

A short time later, the Doctor had dinner finished. He had made chicken and rice with a few vegetables. He would never tell River this, but he had secretly looked the recipe up and tried his hardest to do exactly what it instructed. As River walked in the room, the first thing she saw was the ordinary mahogany dining table. It was set beautifully, and there were even candles resting on it. Every detail was taken to with meticulous care, and nothing was left unthought-of. To be honest with herself, she was quite impressed.

The Doctor pulled out her chair and helped her sit, taking his own seat only after making sure that she was comfortable. He straightened his bowtie somewhat nervously, and she realized that he'd changed it to the dark blue one he had worn when they'd married.

"This all looks wonderful," she said, smiling.

"Thanks, I think so too. I-" He had begun excitedly, and then stopped. "I mean, thank you. You look nice too."

She suppressed a laugh. "Thank you." They started eating, and she was again impressed, this time at the taste of the food. He had made it well, and she hadn't expected him to do so, had raised the fork to her mouth warily. He had exceeded her expectations, as he always seemed to do.

He sat across from her in the candlelight with his eyes squeezed shut, as though he were trying to remember something just out of his grasp. Suddenly, he opened his eyes again and said, "If you could travel anywhere in time and space on a date, and you only had one choice, where would you go?"

River just looked at him for a second. "Well, I suppose that question is irrelevant, because I don't only have one choice; I travel with you quite often, and I almost always get my choice."

"If you couldn't logic your way out of it."

"But I _can_ logic my way out of it." She smiled. "I thought you of all people would be the first to do _that_."

"Assume you can't. Just answer the question. Please."

She sighed mockingly, giving in. "_Fine._ I suppose I would go… Well, if it were a date, I would want my date to choose. It would be more romantic that way, if they chose somewhere they thought I would like."

"How about Venice? Early 1800s?"

"Works for me." She secretly liked when it happened that way, when he chose a place he knew she would love, and then he would take her on a nice date there. It was sweet.

They finished eating, and the Doctor crossed to her side of the table, kissing the top of her head. "Go get something nice on, and that's where we'll go. I'll clean up the kitchen and get the Tardis ready."


	3. Chapter 3

After River had put on a beautiful new dress, she quietly snuck into the library, looking behind her frequently to make sure that her husband wasn't following. There was something she needed to do before they went. Walking over to the chair the Doctor had been lounging on for most of the day, she reached down between the cushions and pulled his book out of its hiding spot, the same hiding spot he used for just about everything, including her birthday present. When she saw the title of the book bound in red, she couldn't help laughing, and she had to quickly force herself to stop as not to have him hear her. She flopped down upon the chair and began reading.


	4. Chapter 4

"River, we're all rea- What are you doing?!" The Doctor saw what she held and ran into the room, panicking.

"'A Gentleman's Guide to Romance'? Really?" She smirked at him, had to tease him. She couldn't give up teasing him over something like this.

"Where did you get that?" His voice started getting higher as he turned bright red.

"Oh, I found it down the cushions of the chair. You really need a new place to hide books, sweetie." She laughed. "I'd always thought, 'No, the Doctor would never read a book like _this.'_ Not _you._ I see you've proven me wrong. You never cease to surprise me."

The Doctor brought a hand to his face, lightly smacking his forehead like he usually does when flustered. How did she _always_ know? Did this mean she'd found her birthday present, too? "Give it back!"

She ignored him, seemed to be enjoying this too much. "I don't blame you; it is quite a good read, very interesting." She flipped back a page, quoting the book. "Oh, here's my favorite part: 'The way to impress a lady is through the little things, the sweet things like letting her relax while you prepare something nice, taking her to her favorite restaurant, wearing your old wedding attire, or even just holding her hand.'"

As River laughed, the Doctor reddened even more, rushing over to where she sat. "Give that back!"

"Not until I'm done reading!"

He reached over and took the book, but as he started to walk away with it, he tripped over her shoes, which had been lying abandoned in the middle of the floor. She laughed and immediately jumped up, seizing the opportunity, and grabbed the book back from him.

"If you don't give that back right now," the Doctor paused, thinking. "I… I'll… I won't take you to Venice!"

"Fine. I do own a vortex manipulator, you know."

"Don't make me get your diary!"

Instead of giving back the book in a panic like he thought would happen, she just smiled. "You wouldn't read it. It's your rule: 'Spoilers!'"

_"Please,_ River! I just wanted to make a nice dinner for you and then go out somewhere. You make it so _hard!"_

"Fine," she sighed mockingly, drawing out her words. "You win."

She handed back the book and he made her leave the room as he carefully placed it back on the shelf, promising himself that he would later throw it into the time vortex. He met River at the TARDIS console and linked her arm through his.

"Ready now?" she teased.

"Yes, dear," he said, bantering back.

Venice would be nice. Last time he had gotten kicked out of the town by a group of aliens, so hopefully he would be able to keep them out of trouble. This time.


End file.
